I feel I have a lot to say about the language used around cancer, but I'm having difficulty articulating what it is I want to say but for now, what I can say is the violence metaphor is very prevalent! We battle with cancer (and sometimes lose that battle), we have a war on cancer, we fight the disease and I hate fighting, but it is one of the metaphors that is constantly used, even though research has shown that people with cancer can find it disempowering. Hell, even searching for an image for this post put me in a hot sweat! The pictures that come up are so scary!!
So why am I talking about Shooting? Well, I had this lung biopsy...
There I was, flat on my back on a narrow hospital bed, with 7 members of staff around me, all fully introduced as is the protocol, with my nurse for the day at my head talking to me, and the large polo-shaped scan machine placed so the Doctor could see inside me to take a lung biopsy. I had to keep my breathing regular, and not too deep as he didn't want my lungs too mobile (believe me I was breathing deeply to try to keep my anxiety levels down), and he would take the biopsy just to the right of my breast bone.
As an aside, when I went in I was asked if I was allergic to medical tape as they might need to tape my breast out of the way... Hello, I'm 50, laying on my back, my boob is in my armpit, surely that's enough out of the way? It wasn't mentioned again ;)
Back to the biopsy, nurse chatting at my head, talking about so many different topics, (she honestly never shut up, I think she was well suited for the job) I have a local anesthetic in my chest and I'm all set up.
Nurse: 'The Doctor is going to do the biopsy now, he's prepared the gun, he's placing it on your chest'
Me: Nods in acknowledgement, I can feel it there.
Nurse: 'He's going to shoot you now'
Me: Nods in acknowledgement - Bang of the gun into my chest, I feel it!
Me (Internally Shouting) For Fluff's sake use some different language!!!
As if being flat on your back on a hospital bed, in an open hospital gown, surrounded by fully clothed people, knowing this procedure may give you a diagnosis of cancer, doesn't make you feel vulnerable enough ... they they get a gun and shoot you! Now I'm not sure what other language could be used here. It was what happened - he got a piece of equipment and shot it into my lungs and withdrew two tiny pieces of tissue (I know how tiny they were, I asked to see them before they went off to the lab for testing). At least it wasn't a bullet.
It was all so common place for them, the placing of the gun on my chest and the shooting. Me, who doesn't like violence and shooting - but that day - I felt like I wanted Clint Eastwood (circa The Good, The Bad and the Ugly days, or Dirty Harry days - Do You Feel Lucky Punk?) to come out from behind the scanner and shoot the Doctor and the chatty nurse for me, it was so surreal for me I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if it had happened!
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